BY COURAGEOUS PARENTS NETWORK

Kerri Padgett has learned to live without Kai, her two year old son who died of an inoperable brain tumor, and without Pat, her younger brother who was diagnosed with cancer during her son’s journey and then passed away a year ago. But, she says, life has never been the same. “I have learned that death is always a possibility and I can sit with that … death isn’t as shocking. [But I am} desensitized … I will never love as much, hurt as much, laugh as much. Nothing will ever feel as real or as vibrant or as colorful. Nothing will ever feel that big again.”

Kerri is a pediatric massage therapist who, both before and after the death of her son, has worked extensively with children with complex medical needs. She has since become an advocate for pediatric palliative care—and the Community Manager here at Courageous Parents Network. Kerri’s story, bravely told through several videos on the Network website, is now featured in a new series of podcasts created in cooperation with StoryCorps Legacy.

“Through my own experience and walking with families, I have learned that death is always a possibility, “ she says. During her process, however, she experienced yet another significant loss: the end of her 12-year marriage. “It became important to share this story.” Courageous Parents Network, her blogging and her advocacy work became important mechanisms. “There are many families experiencing the kind of shock and grief that were part of my past and that will always be a part of me. I want other parents to know about palliative care and how to advocate for their children and themselves. I want them to be able to envision themselves coping and finding strength.”

The families and caregivers featured in the new podcast series discuss a wide range of experiences and concerns, from how to keep their marriages intact to the role of grandparents, supporting siblings, coping with fear, having more children, and more. Their children have suffered from illnesses and conditions including cancer, cerebral palsy, mitochondrial disease and CDKL5; some are living and others have passed away.

“I sometimes don’t realize how in-depth my experience is, and how I continue to dig deeper. Because of that I am able to live, and fully live, and feel good about everything I do on a daily basis,” Kerri tells us. “Don’t get me wrong: there are days where I think I need to walk away … go where no one knows me or what I’ve been through … [I think] all right, world, I have put in my time; I’m going to get rid of everything and travel and just live. I don’t think I’m capable of walking away but sometimes I think I should. But I don’t know who I would be without all of this.”

Courageous Parents Network is proud to produce and share these stories of families and providers. We endeavor to lead by example, by the depth of our own experiences in parenting children with life-threatening illness. Kerri’s story and her work to connect families are inspirational. We believe that by providing practical information 24/7, by using our stories and those of others to help lessen isolation, and by helping parents connect to a world beyond the hospital room, we are, literally, helping to make the impossible feel possible.