Three bereaved moms share their beliefs about the connection between their children who have passed and their children who follow. They talk about the beauty of the signs they have been given, the intersection between life and death, and seeing beyond what happens on earth. 

Parents of a baby son who was born with Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM) talk about the sense of responsibility and energy they feel to share what they learned with others.

Parents of a baby son who was born with Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM) talk about the calling (and pressure) they feel to honor and continue their son’s legacy and grow as parents. “It was the most fulfilled we could have been, and not having that has been difficult, so we find new ways.”

The bereaved parents of a baby son who was born with Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM) talk about how they think of, hold, and cope with their loss. “You have to be present in the room and experience your child actually dying to understand that feeling but you do lose a very large part of your sense of self and safety and understanding of just who you are in the world and I think even lost in the sense of understanding what the world is because a lot of that has been thrown into question for us.”

Parents of a baby son who was born with Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM) talk about how brutal it was to exit into the real world after he died; how isolated and alone they felt; only the people who had been with them in the NICU understood. “It is hard to know what our place is now.”

Parents of a baby son who was born with Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM) describe knowing that their son’s body could not go on any longer, that they had done all they could for him, that it was time to let him go, and what that was like … to shut off the monitors, remove equipment, play music for him, and hold him. “It made me feel a little crazy … but it was the most loving thing we could have done. … We knew it was right, despite how wrong it was.”

Parents of a baby son who was born with Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM) talk about figuring out how to get home or step away from the NICU (the importance of the nurses)

Parents of a baby son who was born with Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM) describe the NICU as a beehive and offer their suggestions for how to navigate it and cope with the heightened sense of focus. Toys, books, music, routines as possible; and staying off social medi; self-care; and the importance of pumping.