On the 20th anniversary of Cameron’s birth day, May 4 1999, Charlie and I took the evening to ponder a while upon those things that her birth and death have given us.
It felt good, enjoyable even, a purposeful thing to do to mark the occasion.
In no particular order:
- Relief and joy at the arrival of Spring green.
- Love for the parents in Courageous Parents Network, friends for life.
- Seeing the strength and resiliency of people affected by hardship and loss.
- The transformative power of time to heal.
- The enduring tenacity of loss so that even with the healing, the scar remains — and thank goodness for that.
- An abiding faith in each other.
- Wariness of the corrosive nature of regret and faith in the mind’s ability to transcend it.
- A fear of forgetting.
- Gratitude for the tenacity and commitment of medical researchers.
- Ambivalence about modern medicine and technology; it can extend and complicate lives in unanticipated ways.
- A wish to protect all parents from such complications.
- The practice of hugging, cuddling, placing my hand upon Cameron’s sisters as often as they can bear.
- A capacity for poetry, particularly poems that invoke the natural world. Mary Oliver forever.
- A comfort with considering illness and death and the space that creates for others.
- The profound generosity of the strangers who have helped launch CPN.
- Doctors, nurses, social workers, chaplains and child life specialists who strive to be compassionate caregivers.
- The way she helped make her sisters who they are.
- Recognition that everyone has their own version of ‘suck’ (per Bob Searle).
- Recognition that everyone has access to joy every day, in every moment.
- An appreciation for the saving power of family and friendship in difficult times.
God bless you Nugget. We love you always.